Interesting read!

Below is from an article I found on a bridal website online. I copied and pasted it right into the post. This is a great breakdown of the traditions of a Jewish wedding, and a similar guideline as to what ours will have too. Keep in mind though, most of the below are strict traditions. Both Adam and I are not quite as strict, but I found the meaning of the article to be quite lovely, and wanted to pass its contents on to you. Enjoy the read!

"A traditional Jewish wedding is full of meaningful rituals, giving expression to the deepest significance and purpose of marriage. These rituals symbolize the beauty of the relationship of husband and wife, as well as their obligations to each other and to the Jewish people. In preparing for the wedding, the chatan (Hebrew for groom) and kallah (bride) should not only pay attention to the material and temporal aspects of married life, but should focus as well on ensuring their religious, spiritual and moral readiness for the future.

The following guide explains the Jewish wedding traditions to help you better understand the beauty and joy of the celebration.

THE WEDDING DAY
The dawning wedding day heralds the happiest and holiest day of one's life. This day is considered a personal Yom Kippur for the chatan and kallah, for on this day all their past mistakes are forgiven as they merge into a new, complete soul.

As on Yom Kippur, both the chatan and kallah fast (in this case, from dawn until after the completion of the marriage ceremony). And at the ceremony, the chatan wears a kittel, the traditional white robe worn on Yom Kippur.

KABBALAT PANIM
It is customary for the chatan and kallah not to see each other for the week preceding the wedding. Separate receptions, called Kabbalat Panim, are held just prior to the wedding ceremony.

Jewish tradition likens the couple to a queen and king. The kallah will be seated on a throne to receive her guests, while the chatan is surrounded by guests who sing and toast him.

At this time there is a tradition for the mother of the bride and the mother of the groom to stand together and break a plate. The reason is to show the seriousness of the commitment -- just as a plate can never be fully repaired, so too a broken relationship can never be fully repaired.

BADEKEN
Next comes the badeken, the veiling of the kallah by the chatan. The veil symbolizes the idea of modesty and conveys the lesson that however attractive physical appearances may be, the soul and character are paramount.

The chatan, accompanied by family and friends, proceeds to the kallah's room and places the veil over her face. This is an ancient custom and serves as the first of many actions by which the groom signals his commitment to clothe and protect his wife. It is reminiscent of Rebecca covering her face before marrying Isaac.

CHUPAH
The wedding ceremony takes place under the chupah (canopy), a symbol of the home to be built and shared by the couple. It is open on all sides, just as Abraham and Sarah had their tent open all sides to welcome friends and relatives in unconditional hospitality.

The chupah is usually held outside, under the stars, as a sign of the blessing given by God to the patriarch Abraham, that his children shall be as the stars of the heavens.

The chatan and kallah will wear no jewelry under the chupah (marriage canopy). Their mutual commitment to one another is based on who they are as people not on their respective material possessions.

The chatan, followed by the kallah, are usually escorted to the chuppah by their respective sets of parents. Under the chupah, the kallah circles the chatan seven times. Just as the world was created in seven days, the kallah is figuratively building the walls of the couple's new home. The number seven also symbolizes the wholeness and completeness that they cannot attain separately.

The kallah then settles at her chatan's right-hand side.

BLESSINGS OF BETROTHAL (KIDDUSHIN)
Two cups of wine are used in the wedding ceremony. The first cup accompanies the betrothal blessing, and after these are recited, the couple drinks from the cup.

Wine, a symbol of joy in Jewish tradition, is associated with the Kiddush, the sanctification prayer recited on Shabbat and festivals. Marriage, which is called Kiddushin, is the sanctification of a man and woman to each other.

GIVING OF THE RING
The ring should be made of plain gold, without blemishes or ornamentation (e.g. stones) -- just as it is hoped that the marriage will be one of simple beauty.

The chatan now takes the wedding ring in his hand, and in clear view of two witnesses, he declares to his wife, Behold, you are betrothed unto me with this ring according to the laws of Moses and Israel. He then places the ring on the forefinger of his bride's right hand. According to Jewish law, this is the central moment of the wedding ceremony, and the couple is now fully married at this point.

KETUBAH (MARRIAGE CONTRACT)
Now comes the reading of the Ketubah (marriage contract) in the original Aramaic text. In marriage, the chatan accepts upon himself certain marital responsibilities which are detailed in the Ketubah. His principal obligations are to provide food, shelter and clothing for his wife, and to be attentive to her emotional needs. The protection of the rights of a Jewish wife is so important that the marriage may not be solemnized until the contract has been completed.

The document is signed by two witnesses, and has the standing of a legally binding agreement. The Ketubah is the property of the kallah and she must have access to it throughout their marriage. It is often written amidst beautiful artwork, to be framed and displayed in the home. The reading of the Ketubah acts as a break between the first part of the ceremony -- Kiddushin ( betrothal ), and the latter part•Nissuin (marriage).

THE SEVEN BLESSINGS
The Seven Blessings (Sheva Brachot) are now recited over the second cup of wine. The theme of these blessings links the chatan and kallah to our faith in God as Creator of the world, Bestower of joy and love, and the ultimate Redeemer of our people.

These blessings are recited by the rabbi or other people that the families wish to honor.

At the conclusion of the seven blessings, the chatan and kallah again drink some of the wine.

BREAKING THE GLASS
A glass is now placed on the floor, and the chatan shatters it with his foot. This act serves as an expression of sadness at the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem, and identifies the couple with the spiritual and national destiny of the Jewish people. A Jew, even at the moment of greatest rejoicing, is always mindful of the Psalmist's injunction to set Jerusalem above my highest joy.

Others explain that this is the last time the groom gets to put his foot down.(In Israel, the glass is broken earlier, prior to the reading of the Ketubah.)

This marks the conclusion of the ceremony. With shouts of Mazel Tov, the chatan and kallah are then given an enthusiastic reception from the guests as they leave the chupah together and head toward the Yichud room, their temporary private chamber.

YICHUD
The couple are escorted to a private room and left alone for the first time. These moments of seclusion signify the newly acquired right of the chatan and kallah to live together as husband and wife. Since the couple has been fasting since the morning, at this point they break their fast.

THE FESTIVE MEAL (SEUDAH)
It is a mitzvah for guests to bring simchah (joy) to the chatan and the kallah on their wedding day. There is much music and dancing as the guests celebrate with the new couple. To further bring joy to the occasion, some guests show off their skills at juggling and acrobatics.

After the meal, Birkat Hamazon ( Grace After Meals ) is recited, and the Sheva Brachot are repeated.

During the week following the wedding, it is customary for friends and relatives to host festive meals in honor of the chatan and kallah. This is called the week of Sheva Brachot, because of the blessings said at the conclusion of each of these festive meals."

Written by Andy Shulman
This article was copied in full from www.aish.com

I said Yes!......to the dress

It’s early……………too early in the morning to be driving to Cincinnati. But, that’s where we’re headed.
Mom, myself, and Barb are all on the way to Cincinnati to go dress shopping. Well, not just dress shopping. I mean dress shopping. As in THE dress. (no pressure)
Barb was the one who suggested we go to Cincinnati for the dress. She said that there were a few stores down there catering solely to wedding dresses, event rentals, cake shops, alterations, etc. Kind of like Little Italy, only picture it with tiered cakes and tiaras, instead of spaghetti and meatballs.
The drive there is pleasant. It’s a beautiful day, the sun is out, mom and Barb are in the front seat talking, and I am in the back pretending to listen very intently………….with my eyes closed………….so I can concentrate………….fully…………….zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Did I mention it was early? Coffee??????? Please?
To be honest, I didn’t know what to expect when the day came to go dress shopping. And, I really didn’t think I would find it on the same day. I went to get an idea of what styles were out there, and more-or-less to look for bridesmaid dresses and flower girl dresses.
Mom warned me a day or two before we went that I should wear conservative undergarments so I would make a good impression in front of her and Barb. (Huh?{ Mom was in luck! I had just thrown my sequin pasties in to be washed the night before.}) Not quite sure why they would be in the room with me, but I decided to be a good girl and do what she asked.
The drive went fairly quickly, and we got to Cincinnati before I knew it. As soon as we turned onto W. Benson Street, both sides of the street were full of dress shops. We found a place to park at one end of the “district” (this is what I call it……if you have ever been there, you would think so too) and got out of the car. This place must be making gaga bank! Dress shop, after dress shop, after dress shop, containing hundreds of dresses waiting to find their brides. The store fronts were charming and quaint. They range from ‘standard-store’ feel, to claims of hosting European elegance and couture. It really is mind blowing when you walk by. Which one to try? Will I really find ‘the one’ here? Today?
We walked into the first shop we saw and started looking around. The owner of the store, and an associate, were right on hand to help us with any questions………any questions at all (bleach tooth smile!). I ended up trying on a dress (it was a bridesmaid’s dress….solely for the purpose of fit) and had mom take a picture of it for us to think about on the way home. We took some literature with us, and a quote (are you serious???? That much?? For THAT???.……..next......) on their card, and left for the next store.
We passed a few other stores making mental notes on which ones we might want to look at on the way back to the car, and found ourselves stopped in front of Bridal & Formal. It looked really small from the outside. I remember thinking ‘no way! 10 minutes……..tops!’.
We walked in, and the store was HUGE! Rooms were connected from all sides. To the left, the shoe room, the veil room, flower girl dresses & bridesmaid dresses. Couture dresses in front, tea- and cocktail-lengths in the corner. Then there was the back. Ho-ly mackerel. The place was packed! It was a schmorgesbord of brides and dresses. The store had a policy that you needed to sign in and leave your name on a waiting list in order to try on a dress. I didn’t bother. I didn’t think I would need to.
We start looking around. Everything is poofy, tall, and weighs in at around a buck-o-five. After walking up and down the rows (and rows, and rows, and rows…….) I thought we were getting ready to leave. When mom and Barb had pulled a few dresses for me to try, I realized we were staying for a while. ‘Well’, I thought, ‘You’re here. Make the most of it.’ So I pulled a few dresses down to look at and moved on to the next row. Mom found me and told me she was adding my name to the list so I can try the dresses on. Fine, no problem.
My name was called, and Tracie, my dress consultant, grabbed my selections and hung them up on a rod to pull from as needed. She then asked me very succinctly what my budget was. Taken aback I did what any bride-to-be would do. ‘CHEAP!’, I said. ‘Help me find something that doesn’t cost as much as my car.’ She looked at me for a second and said, ‘OK. To be honest, that is low. What area were you looking in?’. I then learned that there was a system to the set-up. High-end in front and right, medium-range in the middle, and my price range in the back of the store. Some call it ‘hidden’, I call it ‘my hidden treasure section’. (come on! You wear it ONE day. Seriously. If you spent that much on a pair of pants, you’d shower in them every morning and fall asleep in them every night.)
Tracie took me straight over to a rack that had a horrid dress right in front.
‘What is your style like? What do you see here in addition to what you have already pulled?’, she asked me.
I rooted through a few dresses and pulled one out.
‘Cute, yes very cute. How about this one?’, she asked pointing to the first one in the row.
EEEEEeeewwwwwwwwwww………..
‘Um, not my style?’, I said.
‘You don’t like it, do you?’, she asked.
‘No.’, I said. No hesitation. Period. Dot.
‘Do me a favor,’ she asked. ‘Will you try it on?’.
UGH! Seriously???? Aw, come on!
‘Ok Tracie. For you.’ What??? Did I………………..Was that me speaking?....................... Great.
We walk (I sulk) back towards the dressing room. (I said room………..did you catch that?) I’m confused. Why are mom & Barb still walking with us? Where are you taking me? What the……………………..silence. Even my mind was silenced.
The curtain opened, and behind it unveiled a scene from a sorority house movie. There was only one room! We all had to change in front of each other. Self-conscious girls running around using their arms to cover their bodies from each other as their dress consultants were helping them try on their dresses.
This has got to be a joke! Where's the camera? Ha-Ha! Ok, joke's up. Drat. No cheesy music, no person with a microphone appearing telling me I was on candid camera. Oh man, this just keeps getting better.Tracie takes me to an open spot and hangs up a few dresses we found together. I prepare myself for what comes next. Looking around, I take off my shirt. Mom immediately pipes up 'That's my girl! Did you see that Barb? She's wearing a white bra. She is such a good girl. I told her to do that.' mm-hhmmm.
I look at the sky, and I say a silent plea. 'Why me? Why today?'. I slowly exhale only to find Tracie with the ick dress waiting for me to step in to. Everyone is staring at me, waiting for me. I take off my shoes and stand there. They are still looking at me. Oh! I get it! My shorts.......too bad. They're staying on.
I step into the dress (shorts and all) and Tracie pulls up the bodice and tells me to wait there. Um, no problem. I don't have too many options at the moment. She has me keep my back to the mirror so I can't see the dress until it's all the way on. She brings over a corset and very easily helps me swap out bras. Oh man, thank you Tracie. That was painless. I don't know how she did it, but it was done without exposure.
The dress is on, and she took her 9 volt jumper cable looking "clips" and pinned my dress back.
'Turn around', she said.
And I did.
Wow. Oh my. Is this really the same hideous frock hanging lifelessly and lonely on the hanger out there? I loved it. Absolutely loved it. Soft, light-weight, and soooo me.
I turned to her and said, 'You were right. Tracie, you were right. You tha woman.'.
'Girrrrrl, I know!'.
I tried on 3 other dresses. One was all white with a simple band of embroidery between the bodice and the waist. The other was a pretty white dress with intricate fabric detail that looked perfect for a garden-style wedding. Then there was the siren dress. Meeeoow! I loved it. It was a mermaid-style dress. It had such beautiful beadwork all over ending a few inches below the bodice and right around my hips.
'Work it girl! You got the figure for this.'
Thanks Tracie. I love it too. I looked at her and did a quick hip shake for our audience of brides and mom's and said, 'Tracie. This dress is stunning. I love the fit, I love the form fitting feel of the dress, and I LOVE the beadwork. But, I hate the beadwork. It's rubbing against the skin on my arms and is really bothering me. I think you know what I am going to say next.....'
'You don't have to tell me!', she said as she shook her head from side-to-side. 'No, uh-uh. I know. You love the first one. Don't you?'
Yes.
'Yes. I do. Can I put it back on?'.
And so, icky dress and I walked through the store trying on veils. I walked back to the girls gone wild! dressing room, and heard a lady tell the person sitting next to her, 'What a pretty dress!'. Duh! Hands off honey.
I got back into the room with mom right behind me. Barb stayed out front looking in the bridesmaid section.
I look at mom, then the mirror, then back at mom. I seem to be having a dilemma. The body doesn't want to take off the dress. I look in the mirror again.
'Do you like it mom?'.
'Honey, do you like it?'
'Yes mom, I really do. This is it. This is the one.'.
I looked back at her, and I saw her quickly wiping the tears away from her eyes. I put my arms around her and simply said 'Thank you.'. I hugged her again, and then proceeded to unhook myself from the clamps keeping the dress on me. I finished getting dressed right as Tracie came back in.
'Girrrl.', I said.
'Girrrl.', she replied.
I hugged her, and thanked her to no end. Tracie was right. She was absolutely right.
We ended up ordering the dress (should be here in January!!!!! YAY!!!), and I went to find Barb. She was still in the bridesmaid room. I went over to her and thanked her too. For everything. For the thought. For the suggestion of coming here. And most of all, for being there. I was so lucky and grateful to have them both there with me.
We ended up finding bridesmaid dresses there too. And across the street, they had the most adorable little flower girl dress. Ashley & Emma will look so cute!
In the end, the trip was a HUGE success. I went there with no intention of trying on a single thing. Turns out, I was wrong.

Cold Sweat

Picture this: The soft, lovely sounds of background music playing for hundreds of mingling guests. Scattered talking and laughter mixing with the sounds of champagne glasses clinking, and the aroma of a catered meal seeping out from the kitchen promising to please even the most discriminating palette...........only to find the champagne glasses have been replaced by paper birthday party cups, the aroma from the kitchen leads to the fire alarm going off as the reception dinner burns to bits, and the talking and laughing is replaced by radio silence at the atrocity of the Mardi Gras beads dangling from the ceiling, and the Entenmann's box containing the wedding cake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This nightmare is recurring. The sheer terror at the thought of the above happening never escapes me. I worry that the decor won't be enough, and then I worry that the decor will be too much. I cringe at the thought of the reception meal looking like a frozen food entree that has been undercooked, and is being served in microwaveable trays. I worry that I will trip over my dress as I walk down the aisle to meet my fiance, to immediately be followed by him fainting right as the ceremony begins. I worry that a child or adult will catch themselves on fire when reaching over the candles to shake another guest's hand, or to reach for the salt. I worry, I worry, I worry.
Bless my fiance's heart, when I tell him about these possible scenarios, he looks at me as a parent looks at a child who has walked into the room wearing a bucket on their head and cowboy boots. It's as if to say, "It's ok," as he pats my head.
Have I lost my mind? The 30-some...a-hem.......I mean 20-some years :-) before the engagement I spent as a semi-normal person. I had hobbies, I watched tv, I...I....I.....what did I do?
I can't even remember pre-engagement. It all seems so far away. My head is full of googling-lingo and centerpiece ideas. I don't see colors anymore, I see spray roses and hurricane lamps. A color palette used to mean tints and hues, now it means linens and cocktail napkins. I can't look at flowers as a singular item any longer. They are now bouquets, corsages, and cake table accessories. My questions aren't 'what's for dinner?', they are 'will this match my dress?'.
This is madness.......total madness. I have to stop, but I just can't seem to figure out how.
I read through countless articles about 'how-to-do (blank) and make it look effortless'. All of these other brides and people giving us praises and congratulations. They all say 'Enjoy! It'll be the time of your life.'...............really? The planning is excruciating........like oral surgery sans Novocaine.
Sigh, I have to admit though, amid the chaos and the importance of 'book ahead!', I really do understand what the final result will be. I look at this man; my best friend-my fiance; for whom this lunacy began, and stop to reflect for a second. I can see how the urgency will soon become small, and how the fanatical web searches for vases that don't exist will be an insignificant glitch in the grand scheme of things. He stands behind me each night as I point and click away, and I feel the warmth of his smile as he rests his hand on my shoulder. I know that no matter what color the napkins are, or how many candle votives we have per table, in the end we both will have what truly matters most. The pleasure and honor of being husband and wife.