No matter which way you say it or pronounce it, it means the same. Family. One single word. It can mean so many things, and can usher so many thoughts. Good memories, hard times, but the faces and names are constant. Each family has its key players, and each member knows their role. You can have a large family, with cousins and nieces and nephews at play, or a smaller family capable of more intimate interaction. No matter which one you come from, or make on your own, at the end of the day it is the one sure thing you have. Though we can not always choose the members, they are part of us just the same.
I believe it is every bride's rite of passage to begin her "familiarizing" stage during her engagement. For some, this might mean hosting luncheons for her family and her fiance's. For others, it could mean babysitting or running errands for soon-to-be-in-laws. I personally enjoy just getting to know everyone on Adam's side, and getting to know who they are. I love talking to people and hearing their stories. I have been so fortunate to get to know Adam's Bubbe Hoffman, and his Grandpa Lewis. While seeing the world in their own individual ways, I really enjoy listening to them talk. If you think about what they have seen and lived through, you get such a deeper understanding of who you really are, and where you come from. You can see the world through their eyes, the way it is now and the way it used to be. I am sure that the experiences we endure now are quite different from the ones they have faced.
While spending more time with Adam's grandparents, it makes me reflect on the lack of my own. They have all passed away, and won't be able to see Adam and I on our wedding day. I miss them more and more everyday. I miss my Bubbe's laugh (and her cooking!). I miss hearing her and her best friend Yetta "yelling" at each other in her family room. I miss hearing the way she called me "Stac-alah". I miss hearing my Papa whistle on the phone to me mimicking the chirping sound of a bird. I miss seeing his sunflowers blooming in the front yard of his house. I miss seeing him play cards with my dad, hearing my dad say 'Joe, are you cheating again?'. I miss my Nana, whose eyes were the palest cornflower blue. I miss the way she smelled of citrus on her neck, and how it left a scent on me when I leaned in for a kiss hello. I miss the way happiness touched her eyes every time she smiled. I never had a chance to meet my grandpa Sam, my dad's dad. He passed away when my dad was only 5 years old. From the pictures I have seen, they show a kind looking man, yet one who had the potential for much mischief (a-hem......dad....).
To say that this time in my life isn't my most happiest would be a lie. But to think of the key players in my life who aren't here to share it, well, that truly does sadden me to no end. As with all things in life, even the happiest times can bring about the most bittersweet.
Next June will be a time of great celebration for us. I hope it is a gathering of people looking forward to being together and welcoming new faces into their lives. We are a large family, and a loving family. We laugh, we cry, we fight, and we are loud. We're opinionated, we're passionate, we're stubborn, and head strong. But we are ours. To all of you who are able to make it to the wedding, and to those of you who can't, we welcome you. Welcome to the family.
Please take a moment to remember the ones who aren't here with us to share in our joy, and keep them in your heart to take with you wherever you go.
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