Happy Halloween everyone! The time is here for goblins and ghouls to run wild on the streets.....and get rewarded for it! It is a time of year that we all look forward to. Our inner child gets to come out and play, and we are in make-believe land for at least 24 hours. Costumes have been thought of and carefully put together, and candy is bought in bulk to pass out to all the scary little vampires and witches. Children and adults get caught up in the day, and everyone laughs together.
I love Halloween. It is my favorite holiday of the year, hands down. The leaves are always at their most vivid colors before giving way to the darker days of winter. There is a slight chill in the air, and a faint smell of burning leaves. Large groups of kids run around screaming and laughing, and the adults get to have their time at night after trick-or-treating to "test" the candy to make sure it is ok for their child's consumption.
Whatever you are doing for Halloween this year, have a safe and enjoyable one. Most of the surrounding suburbs have already had beggars night, so now is time for the adults to play in full costume at Halloween parties.
Be careful, be safe, but most importantly, have a great time. Our lives are often spent so consumed by work and obligation that we forget to take time and enjoy ourselves. Tonight, take some "you" time and have fun!
Don't forget! We "fall" back at midnight on November 1st. Change your clocks before bed!
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Tale of the Mystery Venue........
With Halloween right around the corner, scary stories are everywhere! I was never good at ghost stories, but I thought this was equally as frightening!
Um, ok , so I thought the plans were coming along splendidly as the days fly by towards the wedding. We are so far ahead. We have the venue, the caterer, the dj, the photographer...........errrrrr, or so we thought. The dj and the photographer have already confirmed that everything is a go. I have contracts and deposits down, and we are full steam ahead. The caterer and venue are linked, and I thought both were completely on board too. Buuttttt, there is a glitch......a small novice error. no contract. Crud. No contract! Doh! The horror! The horror!
Since we are having a Rabbi as our officiant, the catering must be Kosher. Our biggest obstacle was finding a venue that either served Kosher, or didn't charge an arm and a leg to have an outside Kosher caterer brought in. We finally found not only a venue, but one that also offers Kosher catering. Eureka! We've been to two taste tests.......and both were delicious! (Ask Adam about the first taste test...........needless to say there was no arm twisting going back for the second!) We loved the second testing, and we gladly gave a deposit for the venue right then and there.
When we left the venue, with full bellies and sleepy heads, the event coordinator had another appointment and was in a slight rush. Needless to say among our harried adieu's, they stated that they would send me the contract via e-mail within a week. And then a week turned into next week. Next week turned into another week. Another week led to a week-and-a-half, and now it has been about 5 "next week"'s later, and here I am having a mild coronary this far into the game.
I feel like a total ninny. I didn't know. A wedding planner's 'to-do' sheet had stated to 'get a signed contract from all vendors'. I remember thinking 'Well, duh? Who wouldn't?'. Apparently that would be me. Ignorant, trusting, wishful, freaking-out, growing-gray-hair-at-supernatural-speed-me. Now what?
Ok, don't panic. (this is my new mantra) We've got this. (gulp). Nooooo problem! (yikes!) Tis but a small stick in the wheel. (who am i kidding???? i'm a goner............)
I e-mailed the event coordinator last week emphasizing my growing state of nervousness at the lack of contract, and their response once again assured me of one no later than Monday. As in last Monday. To date, inbox still void of said contract. It is not looking good.
I have heard of the horror stories that brides encounter with their weddings, and remember brushing them off as urban legends. 'Who me? No! That will never happen to me!'. Of course, this was before our save-the-dates were sent out three times (hee-hee.......), but I laughed it off. Ha-Ha!......isn't that cute? Our first unforeseen comical error. And then there was the time that I decided to change the centerpieces........and then again..........and then yet again. (mom wasn't so pleased with that one).
But this, well, this is a little different. I kind of need the funny-ha-ha to be over, and not have the events of my wedding resembling that of a cheesy Halloween horror flick. I hope that once all is said and done, this will be a laughable memory. But at present, I am white as a ghost.
Um, ok , so I thought the plans were coming along splendidly as the days fly by towards the wedding. We are so far ahead. We have the venue, the caterer, the dj, the photographer...........errrrrr, or so we thought. The dj and the photographer have already confirmed that everything is a go. I have contracts and deposits down, and we are full steam ahead. The caterer and venue are linked, and I thought both were completely on board too. Buuttttt, there is a glitch......a small novice error. no contract. Crud. No contract! Doh! The horror! The horror!
Since we are having a Rabbi as our officiant, the catering must be Kosher. Our biggest obstacle was finding a venue that either served Kosher, or didn't charge an arm and a leg to have an outside Kosher caterer brought in. We finally found not only a venue, but one that also offers Kosher catering. Eureka! We've been to two taste tests.......and both were delicious! (Ask Adam about the first taste test...........needless to say there was no arm twisting going back for the second!) We loved the second testing, and we gladly gave a deposit for the venue right then and there.
When we left the venue, with full bellies and sleepy heads, the event coordinator had another appointment and was in a slight rush. Needless to say among our harried adieu's, they stated that they would send me the contract via e-mail within a week. And then a week turned into next week. Next week turned into another week. Another week led to a week-and-a-half, and now it has been about 5 "next week"'s later, and here I am having a mild coronary this far into the game.
I feel like a total ninny. I didn't know. A wedding planner's 'to-do' sheet had stated to 'get a signed contract from all vendors'. I remember thinking 'Well, duh? Who wouldn't?'. Apparently that would be me. Ignorant, trusting, wishful, freaking-out, growing-gray-hair-at-supernatural-speed-me. Now what?
Ok, don't panic. (this is my new mantra) We've got this. (gulp). Nooooo problem! (yikes!) Tis but a small stick in the wheel. (who am i kidding???? i'm a goner............)
I e-mailed the event coordinator last week emphasizing my growing state of nervousness at the lack of contract, and their response once again assured me of one no later than Monday. As in last Monday. To date, inbox still void of said contract. It is not looking good.
I have heard of the horror stories that brides encounter with their weddings, and remember brushing them off as urban legends. 'Who me? No! That will never happen to me!'. Of course, this was before our save-the-dates were sent out three times (hee-hee.......), but I laughed it off. Ha-Ha!......isn't that cute? Our first unforeseen comical error. And then there was the time that I decided to change the centerpieces........and then again..........and then yet again. (mom wasn't so pleased with that one).
But this, well, this is a little different. I kind of need the funny-ha-ha to be over, and not have the events of my wedding resembling that of a cheesy Halloween horror flick. I hope that once all is said and done, this will be a laughable memory. But at present, I am white as a ghost.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Mishpacha, La Familia, La Famiglia, Family
No matter which way you say it or pronounce it, it means the same. Family. One single word. It can mean so many things, and can usher so many thoughts. Good memories, hard times, but the faces and names are constant. Each family has its key players, and each member knows their role. You can have a large family, with cousins and nieces and nephews at play, or a smaller family capable of more intimate interaction. No matter which one you come from, or make on your own, at the end of the day it is the one sure thing you have. Though we can not always choose the members, they are part of us just the same.
I believe it is every bride's rite of passage to begin her "familiarizing" stage during her engagement. For some, this might mean hosting luncheons for her family and her fiance's. For others, it could mean babysitting or running errands for soon-to-be-in-laws. I personally enjoy just getting to know everyone on Adam's side, and getting to know who they are. I love talking to people and hearing their stories. I have been so fortunate to get to know Adam's Bubbe Hoffman, and his Grandpa Lewis. While seeing the world in their own individual ways, I really enjoy listening to them talk. If you think about what they have seen and lived through, you get such a deeper understanding of who you really are, and where you come from. You can see the world through their eyes, the way it is now and the way it used to be. I am sure that the experiences we endure now are quite different from the ones they have faced.
While spending more time with Adam's grandparents, it makes me reflect on the lack of my own. They have all passed away, and won't be able to see Adam and I on our wedding day. I miss them more and more everyday. I miss my Bubbe's laugh (and her cooking!). I miss hearing her and her best friend Yetta "yelling" at each other in her family room. I miss hearing the way she called me "Stac-alah". I miss hearing my Papa whistle on the phone to me mimicking the chirping sound of a bird. I miss seeing his sunflowers blooming in the front yard of his house. I miss seeing him play cards with my dad, hearing my dad say 'Joe, are you cheating again?'. I miss my Nana, whose eyes were the palest cornflower blue. I miss the way she smelled of citrus on her neck, and how it left a scent on me when I leaned in for a kiss hello. I miss the way happiness touched her eyes every time she smiled. I never had a chance to meet my grandpa Sam, my dad's dad. He passed away when my dad was only 5 years old. From the pictures I have seen, they show a kind looking man, yet one who had the potential for much mischief (a-hem......dad....).
To say that this time in my life isn't my most happiest would be a lie. But to think of the key players in my life who aren't here to share it, well, that truly does sadden me to no end. As with all things in life, even the happiest times can bring about the most bittersweet.
Next June will be a time of great celebration for us. I hope it is a gathering of people looking forward to being together and welcoming new faces into their lives. We are a large family, and a loving family. We laugh, we cry, we fight, and we are loud. We're opinionated, we're passionate, we're stubborn, and head strong. But we are ours. To all of you who are able to make it to the wedding, and to those of you who can't, we welcome you. Welcome to the family.
Please take a moment to remember the ones who aren't here with us to share in our joy, and keep them in your heart to take with you wherever you go.
I believe it is every bride's rite of passage to begin her "familiarizing" stage during her engagement. For some, this might mean hosting luncheons for her family and her fiance's. For others, it could mean babysitting or running errands for soon-to-be-in-laws. I personally enjoy just getting to know everyone on Adam's side, and getting to know who they are. I love talking to people and hearing their stories. I have been so fortunate to get to know Adam's Bubbe Hoffman, and his Grandpa Lewis. While seeing the world in their own individual ways, I really enjoy listening to them talk. If you think about what they have seen and lived through, you get such a deeper understanding of who you really are, and where you come from. You can see the world through their eyes, the way it is now and the way it used to be. I am sure that the experiences we endure now are quite different from the ones they have faced.
While spending more time with Adam's grandparents, it makes me reflect on the lack of my own. They have all passed away, and won't be able to see Adam and I on our wedding day. I miss them more and more everyday. I miss my Bubbe's laugh (and her cooking!). I miss hearing her and her best friend Yetta "yelling" at each other in her family room. I miss hearing the way she called me "Stac-alah". I miss hearing my Papa whistle on the phone to me mimicking the chirping sound of a bird. I miss seeing his sunflowers blooming in the front yard of his house. I miss seeing him play cards with my dad, hearing my dad say 'Joe, are you cheating again?'. I miss my Nana, whose eyes were the palest cornflower blue. I miss the way she smelled of citrus on her neck, and how it left a scent on me when I leaned in for a kiss hello. I miss the way happiness touched her eyes every time she smiled. I never had a chance to meet my grandpa Sam, my dad's dad. He passed away when my dad was only 5 years old. From the pictures I have seen, they show a kind looking man, yet one who had the potential for much mischief (a-hem......dad....).
To say that this time in my life isn't my most happiest would be a lie. But to think of the key players in my life who aren't here to share it, well, that truly does sadden me to no end. As with all things in life, even the happiest times can bring about the most bittersweet.
Next June will be a time of great celebration for us. I hope it is a gathering of people looking forward to being together and welcoming new faces into their lives. We are a large family, and a loving family. We laugh, we cry, we fight, and we are loud. We're opinionated, we're passionate, we're stubborn, and head strong. But we are ours. To all of you who are able to make it to the wedding, and to those of you who can't, we welcome you. Welcome to the family.
Please take a moment to remember the ones who aren't here with us to share in our joy, and keep them in your heart to take with you wherever you go.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Our Story
Her story: She had left this place years ago. Now, her past was coming back to haunt her, and fate was slowly pushing her back to the one place she wasn't sure she should be......
His story: Being a recluse, he drifted for years. Finally finding solace in the quiet forest, he sensed trouble was coming.......he just didn't know when or where......
Ok, so this isn't really true. Maybe for a harlequin romance novel, but for us, well....see below...
We met in Jr. High School. With our last names starting with the same letter, we would sit next to each other in home room for the next 7 years. Every year book, our pictures were right next to each other.
I remember thinking that he was cute and really nice. Being 12 or 13 at the time, I was lost in my own prepubescent world where insecurity ran freely. Never thinking more would be possible, we became friends very quickly. And stayed that way for the next 20 years.
Our friends were all in the same group, so we went from friends to best friends over the course of the next year or so.
After graduation, we saw each other a couple of times while we were at college. He visited me in Cincinnati, and I visited him in Dayton.
I came back to Columbus a short while later, and he came back from Dayton about a year later.
We still stayed friends, and kept in touch, but we had different groups of friends. Every once in a while we would run into each other, but for the most part we saw each other in passing.
A few years later I left for South Carolina, and then 2 years later, I moved on to Texas.
Adam stayed here, and eventually started his company in 2001.
We checked in on each other, just as we did with all of our other friends, over the next 10 years. We both went through some rough times, and were still there for each other like time and distance didn't exist.
Eventually, I moved home last November and Adam was the one who helped me price out moving companies for the trip. I felt something different was there between him and I the last week or so I was in Texas, but I had no idea what it was.
When I got back to Columbus, he was the first person I called, and the first person outside of my family to see me. We've spent every night together since my return.
All because of a misunderstanding, or miscommunication, in an e-mail one day, it led us to where we are now. Engaged, and counting down the months and days until all of you are present at our big day!
People will tell you that their spouses are their best friends. For us, it's the other way around. We're best friends soon to become spouses. I don't think either of us would have it any other way. 20 years is a long time to wait for the right thing to happen. But if you ask him or I, we'll both tell you that the wait was well worth it.
His story: Being a recluse, he drifted for years. Finally finding solace in the quiet forest, he sensed trouble was coming.......he just didn't know when or where......
Ok, so this isn't really true. Maybe for a harlequin romance novel, but for us, well....see below...
We met in Jr. High School. With our last names starting with the same letter, we would sit next to each other in home room for the next 7 years. Every year book, our pictures were right next to each other.
I remember thinking that he was cute and really nice. Being 12 or 13 at the time, I was lost in my own prepubescent world where insecurity ran freely. Never thinking more would be possible, we became friends very quickly. And stayed that way for the next 20 years.
Our friends were all in the same group, so we went from friends to best friends over the course of the next year or so.
After graduation, we saw each other a couple of times while we were at college. He visited me in Cincinnati, and I visited him in Dayton.
I came back to Columbus a short while later, and he came back from Dayton about a year later.
We still stayed friends, and kept in touch, but we had different groups of friends. Every once in a while we would run into each other, but for the most part we saw each other in passing.
A few years later I left for South Carolina, and then 2 years later, I moved on to Texas.
Adam stayed here, and eventually started his company in 2001.
We checked in on each other, just as we did with all of our other friends, over the next 10 years. We both went through some rough times, and were still there for each other like time and distance didn't exist.
Eventually, I moved home last November and Adam was the one who helped me price out moving companies for the trip. I felt something different was there between him and I the last week or so I was in Texas, but I had no idea what it was.
When I got back to Columbus, he was the first person I called, and the first person outside of my family to see me. We've spent every night together since my return.
All because of a misunderstanding, or miscommunication, in an e-mail one day, it led us to where we are now. Engaged, and counting down the months and days until all of you are present at our big day!
People will tell you that their spouses are their best friends. For us, it's the other way around. We're best friends soon to become spouses. I don't think either of us would have it any other way. 20 years is a long time to wait for the right thing to happen. But if you ask him or I, we'll both tell you that the wait was well worth it.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Winter date night
Since Columbus has changed so much in the past ten years, I am trying to familiarize myself with it again. The streets, the neighborhoods, and the restaurants. While we don't lack the standard chain restaurants, I haven't found those wonderful little out-of-the-way places that you fall in love with. You know the kind. You all have one. Your favorite restaurant.......not because it is upscale, not because you can see and be seen.........but your favorite restaurant where the decor is so-so, but the staff is great and the food makes you think about it every waking second when you aren't there.
My friend Jimmy started his hunt a year or so ago. He and his wife Jodi moved back from California a little while before I did. They have been searching for cool little places ever since their return. They kind of lit my fire, so-to-speak, and I now am searching on my own. I did find a place the other day online that sounded unique, so I set up a dinner for the 5 (don't forget baby Violet! you can check her pics out on her proud mom's blog: www.jodisegal.blogspot.com..........this little one has the biggest smiles. i warn you though, they are utterly contagious! ) of us to meet and spend some weekday time together. Turns out Jimmy & Jodi had been there before, and really liked the place and were more than happy to go.
While we were having dinner, the subject of winter and cold came up (probably by me), and the realization that we were all becoming slightly sluggish and unmotivated the colder it gets. Movie night came up, and that's when we heard Blockbuster by Bexley was closing. Total shock! I mean, total shock!
Now what were Adam and I going to do for winter date night? Our winter date nights always included a movie and warm flannel pants and a blanket. Well, we still have flannel pants and the blanket..........but do we really have to join Netflix now too? Ay caramba!
Since plans had changed this week, we ended up having winter date night tonight instead of next week. We went to Blockbuster for a final hoorah, and EVERYTHING in the store was on sale. Counter tops, tv's, displays, movie cards, etc. They are no longer renting out movies, everything is buy, buy, buy. You get a decent discount though. And, for once, it's ok if you left your Blockbuster card at home! (score!) We walked around the store, and there were a couple of movies that caught our eye. We tried finding something we had never seen before, and ended up buying two movies (for the price of a rental......only if we don't bring them back on time, we don't have to worry about a $19.95 fee charged to our card). Turns out we had seen the first one, but not the second. The second is a movie called 'Blood Diamond'. Have any of you ever seen it? I have to tell you that I absolutely loved this movie! Loved, loved, loved it! I thought the acting was great, and the story really drew me in. I had heard of conflict-free diamonds before, but never knew quite how bad it really was behind the scenes. If you have a soft heart, like me, you'll want to take your jewelry and throw it outside while driving down the highway. This is the kind of movie that makes you see things in a different light, and hopefully become a more conscientious consumer. If you've already seen it, then you know what I am talking about. If you haven't seen it, it is a good movie to watch. It's long, around 2 to 2-and-a-half hours. Well worth it if you have the time. (when winter hits, who doesn't?) If it's not your kind of thing, completely understood. Say no more. If you have any suggestions, we're all ears. We like watching movies and are always looking for great new releases, or even older ones we've yet to see. Please, forward their names our way!
Movie night is a great way to end a hustle-bustle day at work. It is one of my favorite nights of the week. Today was a busy day for me, but it was a nice day. I had a chance to go to lunch with my future sister-in-law Taby and my new grandmother, Bubbe Sonia. We went to Florentine's, a little Italian place off of West Broad (across from Tommy's diner....super cool diner. check it out!), and had a really nice time. The people in Adam's family are great, and I enjoy spending as much time with them as I can. Ending the night with Adam on date night was the perfect way to close the day. Alas, it's late and I'm cold, and the warm bed and blankets are calling my name.
Morning will be here soon enough, and the next date night seems so far away.
My friend Jimmy started his hunt a year or so ago. He and his wife Jodi moved back from California a little while before I did. They have been searching for cool little places ever since their return. They kind of lit my fire, so-to-speak, and I now am searching on my own. I did find a place the other day online that sounded unique, so I set up a dinner for the 5 (don't forget baby Violet! you can check her pics out on her proud mom's blog: www.jodisegal.blogspot.com..........this little one has the biggest smiles. i warn you though, they are utterly contagious! ) of us to meet and spend some weekday time together. Turns out Jimmy & Jodi had been there before, and really liked the place and were more than happy to go.
While we were having dinner, the subject of winter and cold came up (probably by me), and the realization that we were all becoming slightly sluggish and unmotivated the colder it gets. Movie night came up, and that's when we heard Blockbuster by Bexley was closing. Total shock! I mean, total shock!
Now what were Adam and I going to do for winter date night? Our winter date nights always included a movie and warm flannel pants and a blanket. Well, we still have flannel pants and the blanket..........but do we really have to join Netflix now too? Ay caramba!
Since plans had changed this week, we ended up having winter date night tonight instead of next week. We went to Blockbuster for a final hoorah, and EVERYTHING in the store was on sale. Counter tops, tv's, displays, movie cards, etc. They are no longer renting out movies, everything is buy, buy, buy. You get a decent discount though. And, for once, it's ok if you left your Blockbuster card at home! (score!) We walked around the store, and there were a couple of movies that caught our eye. We tried finding something we had never seen before, and ended up buying two movies (for the price of a rental......only if we don't bring them back on time, we don't have to worry about a $19.95 fee charged to our card). Turns out we had seen the first one, but not the second. The second is a movie called 'Blood Diamond'. Have any of you ever seen it? I have to tell you that I absolutely loved this movie! Loved, loved, loved it! I thought the acting was great, and the story really drew me in. I had heard of conflict-free diamonds before, but never knew quite how bad it really was behind the scenes. If you have a soft heart, like me, you'll want to take your jewelry and throw it outside while driving down the highway. This is the kind of movie that makes you see things in a different light, and hopefully become a more conscientious consumer. If you've already seen it, then you know what I am talking about. If you haven't seen it, it is a good movie to watch. It's long, around 2 to 2-and-a-half hours. Well worth it if you have the time. (when winter hits, who doesn't?) If it's not your kind of thing, completely understood. Say no more. If you have any suggestions, we're all ears. We like watching movies and are always looking for great new releases, or even older ones we've yet to see. Please, forward their names our way!
Movie night is a great way to end a hustle-bustle day at work. It is one of my favorite nights of the week. Today was a busy day for me, but it was a nice day. I had a chance to go to lunch with my future sister-in-law Taby and my new grandmother, Bubbe Sonia. We went to Florentine's, a little Italian place off of West Broad (across from Tommy's diner....super cool diner. check it out!), and had a really nice time. The people in Adam's family are great, and I enjoy spending as much time with them as I can. Ending the night with Adam on date night was the perfect way to close the day. Alas, it's late and I'm cold, and the warm bed and blankets are calling my name.
Morning will be here soon enough, and the next date night seems so far away.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Winter Blues
For most of you, this is a song that needs no mentioning. Winter is common and expected, not necessarily welcomed, but a part of life living in the North. For me, it's an unashamed pity party. When I moved back to Ohio last year, it was early winter. I had missed seeing the fall foliage, and came for the barren-tree stage when the wind is bitingly cold, and the ground is hardening and awaiting the harsh elements to come.
The days are getting shorter, and seeing the sun is becoming a rarity. The sky starts at a pale shade of gray, and only gets a deeper shade as night closes in. Most of the birds are starting to align in their flight patterns, getting them ready for their winter migration. The streets and playgrounds are a little sparce as the kids are all kept inside where it is warm.
Life still goes on as usual.........putting away the summer items and bringing out the winter wear. It is definitely something that will take time to get used to again. I do miss the sun shining almost every day, and feeling the warmth of it on my skin during the winter months. The few cold days are bearable, only requiring a scarf and a jacket to get you through.
Adam and I have decided that when it comes time to house hunt, whether to rent or own, a fireplace is a must! I remember so many winters at home with mom and dad spent eating chinese or italian food in the living room, sitting right around the fireplace. They were nice times, and ones I hope to have with Adam.
So, to all of you out there, as the seasons change and we settle in for colder weather and more blockbuster or netflix nights, stay warm and be safe. Enjoy a fire with the family, or just yourselves. Grab a blanket, and snuggle in for the night.
The days are getting shorter, and seeing the sun is becoming a rarity. The sky starts at a pale shade of gray, and only gets a deeper shade as night closes in. Most of the birds are starting to align in their flight patterns, getting them ready for their winter migration. The streets and playgrounds are a little sparce as the kids are all kept inside where it is warm.
Life still goes on as usual.........putting away the summer items and bringing out the winter wear. It is definitely something that will take time to get used to again. I do miss the sun shining almost every day, and feeling the warmth of it on my skin during the winter months. The few cold days are bearable, only requiring a scarf and a jacket to get you through.
Adam and I have decided that when it comes time to house hunt, whether to rent or own, a fireplace is a must! I remember so many winters at home with mom and dad spent eating chinese or italian food in the living room, sitting right around the fireplace. They were nice times, and ones I hope to have with Adam.
So, to all of you out there, as the seasons change and we settle in for colder weather and more blockbuster or netflix nights, stay warm and be safe. Enjoy a fire with the family, or just yourselves. Grab a blanket, and snuggle in for the night.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Interesting read!
Below is from an article I found on a bridal website online. I copied and pasted it right into the post. This is a great breakdown of the traditions of a Jewish wedding, and a similar guideline as to what ours will have too. Keep in mind though, most of the below are strict traditions. Both Adam and I are not quite as strict, but I found the meaning of the article to be quite lovely, and wanted to pass its contents on to you. Enjoy the read!
"A traditional Jewish wedding is full of meaningful rituals, giving expression to the deepest significance and purpose of marriage. These rituals symbolize the beauty of the relationship of husband and wife, as well as their obligations to each other and to the Jewish people. In preparing for the wedding, the chatan (Hebrew for groom) and kallah (bride) should not only pay attention to the material and temporal aspects of married life, but should focus as well on ensuring their religious, spiritual and moral readiness for the future.
"A traditional Jewish wedding is full of meaningful rituals, giving expression to the deepest significance and purpose of marriage. These rituals symbolize the beauty of the relationship of husband and wife, as well as their obligations to each other and to the Jewish people. In preparing for the wedding, the chatan (Hebrew for groom) and kallah (bride) should not only pay attention to the material and temporal aspects of married life, but should focus as well on ensuring their religious, spiritual and moral readiness for the future.
The following guide explains the Jewish wedding traditions to help you better understand the beauty and joy of the celebration.
THE WEDDING DAY
The dawning wedding day heralds the happiest and holiest day of one's life. This day is considered a personal Yom Kippur for the chatan and kallah, for on this day all their past mistakes are forgiven as they merge into a new, complete soul.
As on Yom Kippur, both the chatan and kallah fast (in this case, from dawn until after the completion of the marriage ceremony). And at the ceremony, the chatan wears a kittel, the traditional white robe worn on Yom Kippur.
KABBALAT PANIM
It is customary for the chatan and kallah not to see each other for the week preceding the wedding. Separate receptions, called Kabbalat Panim, are held just prior to the wedding ceremony.
Jewish tradition likens the couple to a queen and king. The kallah will be seated on a throne to receive her guests, while the chatan is surrounded by guests who sing and toast him.
At this time there is a tradition for the mother of the bride and the mother of the groom to stand together and break a plate. The reason is to show the seriousness of the commitment -- just as a plate can never be fully repaired, so too a broken relationship can never be fully repaired.
BADEKEN
Next comes the badeken, the veiling of the kallah by the chatan. The veil symbolizes the idea of modesty and conveys the lesson that however attractive physical appearances may be, the soul and character are paramount.
The chatan, accompanied by family and friends, proceeds to the kallah's room and places the veil over her face. This is an ancient custom and serves as the first of many actions by which the groom signals his commitment to clothe and protect his wife. It is reminiscent of Rebecca covering her face before marrying Isaac.
CHUPAH
The wedding ceremony takes place under the chupah (canopy), a symbol of the home to be built and shared by the couple. It is open on all sides, just as Abraham and Sarah had their tent open all sides to welcome friends and relatives in unconditional hospitality.
The chupah is usually held outside, under the stars, as a sign of the blessing given by God to the patriarch Abraham, that his children shall be as the stars of the heavens.
The chatan and kallah will wear no jewelry under the chupah (marriage canopy). Their mutual commitment to one another is based on who they are as people not on their respective material possessions.
The chatan, followed by the kallah, are usually escorted to the chuppah by their respective sets of parents. Under the chupah, the kallah circles the chatan seven times. Just as the world was created in seven days, the kallah is figuratively building the walls of the couple's new home. The number seven also symbolizes the wholeness and completeness that they cannot attain separately.
The kallah then settles at her chatan's right-hand side.
BLESSINGS OF BETROTHAL (KIDDUSHIN)
Two cups of wine are used in the wedding ceremony. The first cup accompanies the betrothal blessing, and after these are recited, the couple drinks from the cup.
Wine, a symbol of joy in Jewish tradition, is associated with the Kiddush, the sanctification prayer recited on Shabbat and festivals. Marriage, which is called Kiddushin, is the sanctification of a man and woman to each other.
GIVING OF THE RING
The ring should be made of plain gold, without blemishes or ornamentation (e.g. stones) -- just as it is hoped that the marriage will be one of simple beauty.
The chatan now takes the wedding ring in his hand, and in clear view of two witnesses, he declares to his wife, Behold, you are betrothed unto me with this ring according to the laws of Moses and Israel. He then places the ring on the forefinger of his bride's right hand. According to Jewish law, this is the central moment of the wedding ceremony, and the couple is now fully married at this point.
KETUBAH (MARRIAGE CONTRACT)
Now comes the reading of the Ketubah (marriage contract) in the original Aramaic text. In marriage, the chatan accepts upon himself certain marital responsibilities which are detailed in the Ketubah. His principal obligations are to provide food, shelter and clothing for his wife, and to be attentive to her emotional needs. The protection of the rights of a Jewish wife is so important that the marriage may not be solemnized until the contract has been completed.
The document is signed by two witnesses, and has the standing of a legally binding agreement. The Ketubah is the property of the kallah and she must have access to it throughout their marriage. It is often written amidst beautiful artwork, to be framed and displayed in the home. The reading of the Ketubah acts as a break between the first part of the ceremony -- Kiddushin ( betrothal ), and the latter part•Nissuin (marriage).
THE SEVEN BLESSINGS
The Seven Blessings (Sheva Brachot) are now recited over the second cup of wine. The theme of these blessings links the chatan and kallah to our faith in God as Creator of the world, Bestower of joy and love, and the ultimate Redeemer of our people.
These blessings are recited by the rabbi or other people that the families wish to honor.
At the conclusion of the seven blessings, the chatan and kallah again drink some of the wine.
BREAKING THE GLASS
A glass is now placed on the floor, and the chatan shatters it with his foot. This act serves as an expression of sadness at the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem, and identifies the couple with the spiritual and national destiny of the Jewish people. A Jew, even at the moment of greatest rejoicing, is always mindful of the Psalmist's injunction to set Jerusalem above my highest joy.
Others explain that this is the last time the groom gets to put his foot down.(In Israel, the glass is broken earlier, prior to the reading of the Ketubah.)
This marks the conclusion of the ceremony. With shouts of Mazel Tov, the chatan and kallah are then given an enthusiastic reception from the guests as they leave the chupah together and head toward the Yichud room, their temporary private chamber.
YICHUD
The couple are escorted to a private room and left alone for the first time. These moments of seclusion signify the newly acquired right of the chatan and kallah to live together as husband and wife. Since the couple has been fasting since the morning, at this point they break their fast.
THE FESTIVE MEAL (SEUDAH)
It is a mitzvah for guests to bring simchah (joy) to the chatan and the kallah on their wedding day. There is much music and dancing as the guests celebrate with the new couple. To further bring joy to the occasion, some guests show off their skills at juggling and acrobatics.
After the meal, Birkat Hamazon ( Grace After Meals ) is recited, and the Sheva Brachot are repeated.
During the week following the wedding, it is customary for friends and relatives to host festive meals in honor of the chatan and kallah. This is called the week of Sheva Brachot, because of the blessings said at the conclusion of each of these festive meals."
Written by Andy Shulman
This article was copied in full from www.aish.com
I said Yes!......to the dress
It’s early……………too early in the morning to be driving to Cincinnati. But, that’s where we’re headed.
Mom, myself, and Barb are all on the way to Cincinnati to go dress shopping. Well, not just dress shopping. I mean dress shopping. As in THE dress. (no pressure)
Barb was the one who suggested we go to Cincinnati for the dress. She said that there were a few stores down there catering solely to wedding dresses, event rentals, cake shops, alterations, etc. Kind of like Little Italy, only picture it with tiered cakes and tiaras, instead of spaghetti and meatballs.
The drive there is pleasant. It’s a beautiful day, the sun is out, mom and Barb are in the front seat talking, and I am in the back pretending to listen very intently………….with my eyes closed………….so I can concentrate………….fully…………….
To be honest, I didn’t know what to expect when the day came to go dress shopping. And, I really didn’t think I would find it on the same day. I went to get an idea of what styles were out there, and more-or-less to look for bridesmaid dresses and flower girl dresses.
Mom warned me a day or two before we went that I should wear conservative undergarments so I would make a good impression in front of her and Barb. (Huh?{ Mom was in luck! I had just thrown my sequin pasties in to be washed the night before.}) Not quite sure why they would be in the room with me, but I decided to be a good girl and do what she asked.
The drive went fairly quickly, and we got to Cincinnati before I knew it. As soon as we turned onto W. Benson Street, both sides of the street were full of dress shops. We found a place to park at one end of the “district” (this is what I call it……if you have ever been there, you would think so too) and got out of the car. This place must be making gaga bank! Dress shop, after dress shop, after dress shop, containing hundreds of dresses waiting to find their brides. The store fronts were charming and quaint. They range from ‘standard-store’ feel, to claims of hosting European elegance and couture. It really is mind blowing when you walk by. Which one to try? Will I really find ‘the one’ here? Today?
We walked into the first shop we saw and started looking around. The owner of the store, and an associate, were right on hand to help us with any questions………any questions at all (bleach tooth smile!). I ended up trying on a dress (it was a bridesmaid’s dress….solely for the purpose of fit) and had mom take a picture of it for us to think about on the way home. We took some literature with us, and a quote (are you serious???? That much?? For THAT???.……..next......) on their card, and left for the next store.
We passed a few other stores making mental notes on which ones we might want to look at on the way back to the car, and found ourselves stopped in front of Bridal & Formal. It looked really small from the outside. I remember thinking ‘no way! 10 minutes……..tops!’.
We walked in, and the store was HUGE! Rooms were connected from all sides. To the left, the shoe room, the veil room, flower girl dresses & bridesmaid dresses. Couture dresses in front, tea- and cocktail-lengths in the corner. Then there was the back. Ho-ly mackerel. The place was packed! It was a schmorgesbord of brides and dresses. The store had a policy that you needed to sign in and leave your name on a waiting list in order to try on a dress. I didn’t bother. I didn’t think I would need to.
We start looking around. Everything is poofy, tall, and weighs in at around a buck-o-five. After walking up and down the rows (and rows, and rows, and rows…….) I thought we were getting ready to leave. When mom and Barb had pulled a few dresses for me to try, I realized we were staying for a while. ‘Well’, I thought, ‘You’re here. Make the most of it.’ So I pulled a few dresses down to look at and moved on to the next row. Mom found me and told me she was adding my name to the list so I can try the dresses on. Fine, no problem.
My name was called, and Tracie, my dress consultant, grabbed my selections and hung them up on a rod to pull from as needed. She then asked me very succinctly what my budget was. Taken aback I did what any bride-to-be would do. ‘CHEAP!’, I said. ‘Help me find something that doesn’t cost as much as my car.’ She looked at me for a second and said, ‘OK. To be honest, that is low. What area were you looking in?’. I then learned that there was a system to the set-up. High-end in front and right, medium-range in the middle, and my price range in the back of the store. Some call it ‘hidden’, I call it ‘my hidden treasure section’. (come on! You wear it ONE day. Seriously. If you spent that much on a pair of pants, you’d shower in them every morning and fall asleep in them every night.)
Tracie took me straight over to a rack that had a horrid dress right in front.
‘What is your style like? What do you see here in addition to what you have already pulled?’, she asked me.
I rooted through a few dresses and pulled one out.
‘Cute, yes very cute. How about this one?’, she asked pointing to the first one in the row.
EEEEEeeewwwwwwwwwww………..
‘Um, not my style?’, I said.
‘You don’t like it, do you?’, she asked.
‘No.’, I said. No hesitation. Period. Dot.
‘Do me a favor,’ she asked. ‘Will you try it on?’.
UGH! Seriously???? Aw, come on!
‘Ok Tracie. For you.’ What??? Did I………………..Was that me speaking?.....................
We walk (I sulk) back towards the dressing room. (I said room………..did you catch that?) I’m confused. Why are mom & Barb still walking with us? Where are you taking me? What the……………………..silence. Even my mind was silenced.
The curtain opened, and behind it unveiled a scene from a sorority house movie. There was only one room! We all had to change in front of each other. Self-conscious girls running around using their arms to cover their bodies from each other as their dress consultants were helping them try on their dresses.
This has got to be a joke! Where's the camera? Ha-Ha! Ok, joke's up. Drat. No cheesy music, no person with a microphone appearing telling me I was on candid camera. Oh man, this just keeps getting better.Tracie takes me to an open spot and hangs up a few dresses we found together. I prepare myself for what comes next. Looking around, I take off my shirt. Mom immediately pipes up 'That's my girl! Did you see that Barb? She's wearing a white bra. She is such a good girl. I told her to do that.' mm-hhmmm.
I look at the sky, and I say a silent plea. 'Why me? Why today?'. I slowly exhale only to find Tracie with the ick dress waiting for me to step in to. Everyone is staring at me, waiting for me. I take off my shoes and stand there. They are still looking at me. Oh! I get it! My shorts.......too bad. They're staying on.
I step into the dress (shorts and all) and Tracie pulls up the bodice and tells me to wait there. Um, no problem. I don't have too many options at the moment. She has me keep my back to the mirror so I can't see the dress until it's all the way on. She brings over a corset and very easily helps me swap out bras. Oh man, thank you Tracie. That was painless. I don't know how she did it, but it was done without exposure.
The dress is on, and she took her 9 volt jumper cable looking "clips" and pinned my dress back.
'Turn around', she said.
And I did.
Wow. Oh my. Is this really the same hideous frock hanging lifelessly and lonely on the hanger out there? I loved it. Absolutely loved it. Soft, light-weight, and soooo me.
I turned to her and said, 'You were right. Tracie, you were right. You tha woman.'.
'Girrrrrl, I know!'.
I tried on 3 other dresses. One was all white with a simple band of embroidery between the bodice and the waist. The other was a pretty white dress with intricate fabric detail that looked perfect for a garden-style wedding. Then there was the siren dress. Meeeoow! I loved it. It was a mermaid-style dress. It had such beautiful beadwork all over ending a few inches below the bodice and right around my hips.
'Work it girl! You got the figure for this.'
Thanks Tracie. I love it too. I looked at her and did a quick hip shake for our audience of brides and mom's and said, 'Tracie. This dress is stunning. I love the fit, I love the form fitting feel of the dress, and I LOVE the beadwork. But, I hate the beadwork. It's rubbing against the skin on my arms and is really bothering me. I think you know what I am going to say next.....'
'You don't have to tell me!', she said as she shook her head from side-to-side. 'No, uh-uh. I know. You love the first one. Don't you?'
Yes.
'Yes. I do. Can I put it back on?'.
And so, icky dress and I walked through the store trying on veils. I walked back to the girls gone wild! dressing room, and heard a lady tell the person sitting next to her, 'What a pretty dress!'. Duh! Hands off honey.
I got back into the room with mom right behind me. Barb stayed out front looking in the bridesmaid section.
I look at mom, then the mirror, then back at mom. I seem to be having a dilemma. The body doesn't want to take off the dress. I look in the mirror again.
'Do you like it mom?'.
'Honey, do you like it?'
'Yes mom, I really do. This is it. This is the one.'.
I looked back at her, and I saw her quickly wiping the tears away from her eyes. I put my arms around her and simply said 'Thank you.'. I hugged her again, and then proceeded to unhook myself from the clamps keeping the dress on me. I finished getting dressed right as Tracie came back in.
'Girrrl.', I said.
'Girrrl.', she replied.
I hugged her, and thanked her to no end. Tracie was right. She was absolutely right.
We ended up ordering the dress (should be here in January!!!!! YAY!!!), and I went to find Barb. She was still in the bridesmaid room. I went over to her and thanked her too. For everything. For the thought. For the suggestion of coming here. And most of all, for being there. I was so lucky and grateful to have them both there with me.
We ended up finding bridesmaid dresses there too. And across the street, they had the most adorable little flower girl dress. Ashley & Emma will look so cute!
In the end, the trip was a HUGE success. I went there with no intention of trying on a single thing. Turns out, I was wrong.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
The Registry
Here are the places that we have registered at:
You can find our registry either under my name Stacy Grossman or Adam Gurevitz and the wedding date is June 13th 2010.
This is mostly for kitchen items……dinnerware, baking/serving dishes, utensils. All the stuff we need for the kitchen.
The great thing about a Crate & Barrel registry is that you can either purchase online or in the store.
Search for our registry under either Stacy Grossman or Adam Gurevitz, date June 13th, 2010.
They might ask you for a visitor’s password, and the password is june2010.
This is a unique registry because you can take any item from any store and add it to your registry.
Once you click on the item, you don’t have to buy it online, you can purchase it in a store…any store you have seen it in. Once you purchase the item (if not on the myregistry website), you do have to go back and actually take the item off of the registry showing that it has been purchased. That way it will stop duplicates. It sounds complicated, but is really easy. Any problems, please let us know. I can always remove it for you.
This registry is also for kitchen items, flatware, bedding, and one or two odds-n-ends. All stuff we can use and want, so nothing frivolous has been added.
Any questions or issues, feel free to contact us at : stacygandadamg@gmail.com
Please keep checking back! We are always adding more posts!
We’d love to hear some of your stories too! Feel free to make comments!
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Chicken or Egg?
There is a natural succession to things. 'Order' is how most people refer to it. We follow a chronological time line: zygote, embryo, fetus/embryo, new-born, infant, toddler, child, etc., etc. You get my point. There is a rhyme and reason because it can be documented from beginning stage to final stage. The circle of life, we like to call it. Agreed? Good, let's move forward.
Age old question: Which came first? The chicken or the egg? Valid question. The validity lies in the fact that you need one to exist to have the other appear true......or at least validate it's existence/inception. We, as a society, need to see data and charts and graphs before we even begin to admit that something can and does exist. We need proof. Now, let's throw a little something more abstract out there. What about fate? Destiny? How does that interlink with fact? With data? It really isn't something that can be a shaded red or green in a computerized pie chart or graph. How do we explain that? We can't. It just is.
Here's where my story weaves itself into the information stated above. There is a connection, so please, follow me here ok?
As a product of my environment and upbringing, I am a total shopaholic. I will admit this to anyone, anywhere, anytime. I revel in it. Even in my rebellious days fighting the Yuppies, I still went shopping, just not at 'corporate' institutions run by 'the man'. (I thought I was very political when I was younger. Turns out, I was just a normal teen. C'est la vie. ) Growing older, I developed a very longstanding relationship with Lord & Taylor (before they closed almost every single store across the US), and my magical gift of Macy's. (sigh.............). Anyway, my point is this. When I need therapy, I shop. Window shop, online shop, in-store shop. I don't have to buy anything. I can go just to look or try on. Either way, it's euphoria for me. It's similar to the effects of the chemical in chocolate called 'phenylethylamine that raises the endorphin levels in your brain, helping you feel calm and happy'. Bliss....it's pure bliss.
That being said, you'll understand how the pieces all come together as we move on.
Mom is a teacher and has her summers free. She and I spent a good portion of her summer going places together on my days off of work. There was a store she really wanted me to go see with her on N. High St. in the Short North called Grandview Mercantile Revue, or just Revue for short. It's a little hip, a little mod, a little retro consignment store that literally sells everything under the sun. They really do have some unique things there to look at. Since mom and I didn't have anywhere to be until later that night, I looked at every thing in every aisle. After one-and-a-half loops around the store, I made it to the last stop in the last section which just happened to be jewelry. Not costume jewelry like they had mixed in through the other cases. No, this was where they had their estate pieces and dealer jewels. I looked in all of the cases at each piece, glancing at beautiful brooches and pendants, heirlooms, and custom work. Mom came up behind me, and started looking through the cases too. Keep in mind, there are 6-7 cases. Three on one side of you....floor to almost ceiling, and three to four of the same size cases on the other side of you. Anyway, we were looking at the same case, and I saw a few things in there that I thought were so-so, and kept panning my view to see what else was in the case. Mom grabbed my arm, and immediately called over a sales associate. In the case was an exact replica of a ring her father had made for her when she graduated high school. (the original ring had been stolen a year before while she was teaching summer school). Her eyes lit up and of course she tried on the ring. While mom was occupied looking at the ring, the sales associate asked if there was anything in there I saw that I would like to see. 'Why not?', I thought. This could take a while. I looked into the case, and on the same shelf, and a box away from the ring mom found, there was a simple but nice looking sapphire and diamond ring that sort of caught my eye. 'Can I see that one?', I asked pointing to it. She took it out for me, and I tried it on. Holy Cow! I fell in love. It was instantaneous. Everything about this ring felt right, felt like it was waiting there only for me. I looked at mom and she looked at me, and we both held out our fingers so the other could see. We didn't have to say anything, but did anyway. We were supposed to be here, on THIS day, together. How could this not have been meant to be?
'Mom? If I ever get engaged, this is exactly the type of ring I want to have. Look at this. It's perfect.'
'Stace? This is Papa's ring. Not the original, but the same exact design. And it fits honey.......it really fits.'
We reluctantly gave both rings back, (AFTER i took pictures of each with the camera in my cell phone!) and walked in silence to her car.
The conversation that we had in the car was more out of shock than anything else. Papa's ring to mom? There? Not the original, but one just the same? How could this be?
A ring I found, in the same case, one box away, that made me utter the words 'engagement' and 'marriage' even though Adam and I had only been dating since December? It was now just July.
Later that night, Adam and I went to dinner at our friend's Jimmy & Jodi's house. We got to see the baby for a little while before Jodi took her upstairs to go to bed. While Jodi was upstairs, and Adam was taking out the trash for Jimmy, I was helping him wash & dry the dishes.
'Jim?', I said, 'There is something I have to get off my chest. I need your opinion, I am so freaked out.' I then proceeded to tell him the whole story.
'Tell him,' he said. 'Tell him tonight.'
And while we were driving home, I did. I told him everything. Mom's ring, my ring, how I wasn't looking for it, I felt like it had found me. I told him the thought of engagement and marriage didn't scare me now, as it had done in the past. We had a long talk, and I showed him the pictures in my phone. We talked about going to the store over the weekend so he could see it for himself. We talked about whether or not this was the right time to even consider spending that kind of money (money we didn't have) on a ring.
Finally, the day comes to go to Revue and show Adam the ring. When we get there, there is a sign in the window stating that they closed early for the day to get ready for a huge sale taking place the next day. My uneasiness at the thought of possibly losing this ring starts to grow. We go back two days later on a Sunday before I have to go to work. I walk in and go straight to the case where both rings had been, and they were both gone. My heart dropped. For me, for mom. 'We lost them,' that's all I could think. When I asked the sales lady (one of the same ones there while mom and I were trying the rings on a few days ago), she said that my ring had sold and the one mom looked at was taken to a jewelry show by the dealer for the weekend. I gave her my cell number in case the dealer brought mom's ring back, and asked her to call me so I could let mom know one way or another if the ring was coming back. I then called mom, and gave her the bad news. She said she was going over there first thing in the morning to see if her ring came back.
I tried so hard not to let my disappointment show. Adam was so sweet, and kept trying to console me saying we'd find another one just like it. How do you explain to someone that it wasn't necessarily something you were looking for, but felt right once you found it? And once you lost it, you didn't want another one just like it? I told him no, there would be a different one. I didn't want it to be just like that one. That was just one I had happened to like. Maybe it was a sign? It just wasn't meant to be. When we got home, I got ready for work, and the day went on as usual.
Let's now fast forward to Tuesday, July 21st. We were slow at work again, and my boss said that because I was still new, I am one of the first to be asked to leave early. I didn't really mind that at all, and called Adam and asked him to come get me. I waited for him outside of the building. It was a nice night, and I felt like being outside. Adam pulled into the parking lot, but instead of waiting for me to get in, he pulled into a space and parked.
'Let's take the beagle for a walk across the street at the park.'
'Ok,' I said. Good, I was glad. I felt like being outside for a little while before we went home. Besides, work is in a secluded part of Easton and has a park called the Oval across the road. The Oval is the focal point from all of the buildings around the park. You don't see the main road in or out until you make almost a full circle around the Oval.
I remember we were talking about bats while we walked through the parking lot and street to get to the park. I think there were quite a few out that night. I told Adam about our house on Dawson, and the pool we had in the backyard. The pool was lit at night, and my brother and I would sit on the stairs in the shallow end and watch the bats swoop down onto the water picking up bugs and insects they saw illuminated from the sky. Adam remained pretty silent after the conversation, and when he spoke next, his words weren't really making sense to me. His breath seemed short, and when I turned to look at him to see if he was ok, he had stopped walking and was fumbling for something in his left front jeans pocket.
Oh my g-d! Is he really.............? And then the words, 'I've always loved you Stace. Will you marry me?'. I looked down at the box in his hand, and when he opened it up, there was the ring!
'No,', I muttered as I put my arms around him.
'No?', he asked.
I started laughing. 'Yes! Yes! I will marry you.' I said back. ''No' was because I can't believe this is happening, and that you have the ring. The exact one I picked out.'
As we got back in the car, he told me of how he went to the Revue the next day after our talk, and bought the ring. The NEXT day. He had it this whole time! And the sales lady??? SHE was in on it too!
We drove to mom's, and I showed her my hand. She then showed me hers. Our rings! We had our rings. The men in our lives may not have made them, but I truly believe that the rings we had were made for them.
I called dad next. He was out at a restaurant eating dinner and he said 'Mazel Tov honey!', and then I heard him tell the people he was with 'My daughter just got engaged!'. There were many congratulations flung his way. I put Adam on the phone, and I heard him say 'Thanks', and then started laughing. 'Your dad said that there is a significant sum of money in it for us if we elope.'
Elope? No way! Let's celebrate!
So now here is where this part of the story ends. While I do agree there is a general succession to things, I truly believe it can not be applied to everything. I wasn't looking for that ring, but it was absolutely looking for me. Mom thought a link to her father had been taken from her forever, but that day, that link was miraculously restored.
Logic and reason (and tradition to an extent) mandates there is a systematic order to things. Engagement first, then the ring, then the wedding. In my case, this proves not to be so. Sometimes things just happen in whichever order they decide to present themselves to you. It's up to you to take it for what it is.
The chicken and the egg theory as used above, is a most valid and thought provoking discussion. You can't have one without the other. And to be totally honest, I am not sure we will ever really know. But therein lies half the mystery to it.
Age old question: Which came first? The chicken or the egg? Valid question. The validity lies in the fact that you need one to exist to have the other appear true......or at least validate it's existence/inception. We, as a society, need to see data and charts and graphs before we even begin to admit that something can and does exist. We need proof. Now, let's throw a little something more abstract out there. What about fate? Destiny? How does that interlink with fact? With data? It really isn't something that can be a shaded red or green in a computerized pie chart or graph. How do we explain that? We can't. It just is.
Here's where my story weaves itself into the information stated above. There is a connection, so please, follow me here ok?
As a product of my environment and upbringing, I am a total shopaholic. I will admit this to anyone, anywhere, anytime. I revel in it. Even in my rebellious days fighting the Yuppies, I still went shopping, just not at 'corporate' institutions run by 'the man'. (I thought I was very political when I was younger. Turns out, I was just a normal teen. C'est la vie. ) Growing older, I developed a very longstanding relationship with Lord & Taylor (before they closed almost every single store across the US), and my magical gift of Macy's. (sigh.............). Anyway, my point is this. When I need therapy, I shop. Window shop, online shop, in-store shop. I don't have to buy anything. I can go just to look or try on. Either way, it's euphoria for me. It's similar to the effects of the chemical in chocolate called 'phenylethylamine that raises the endorphin levels in your brain, helping you feel calm and happy'. Bliss....it's pure bliss.
That being said, you'll understand how the pieces all come together as we move on.
Mom is a teacher and has her summers free. She and I spent a good portion of her summer going places together on my days off of work. There was a store she really wanted me to go see with her on N. High St. in the Short North called Grandview Mercantile Revue, or just Revue for short. It's a little hip, a little mod, a little retro consignment store that literally sells everything under the sun. They really do have some unique things there to look at. Since mom and I didn't have anywhere to be until later that night, I looked at every thing in every aisle. After one-and-a-half loops around the store, I made it to the last stop in the last section which just happened to be jewelry. Not costume jewelry like they had mixed in through the other cases. No, this was where they had their estate pieces and dealer jewels. I looked in all of the cases at each piece, glancing at beautiful brooches and pendants, heirlooms, and custom work. Mom came up behind me, and started looking through the cases too. Keep in mind, there are 6-7 cases. Three on one side of you....floor to almost ceiling, and three to four of the same size cases on the other side of you. Anyway, we were looking at the same case, and I saw a few things in there that I thought were so-so, and kept panning my view to see what else was in the case. Mom grabbed my arm, and immediately called over a sales associate. In the case was an exact replica of a ring her father had made for her when she graduated high school. (the original ring had been stolen a year before while she was teaching summer school). Her eyes lit up and of course she tried on the ring. While mom was occupied looking at the ring, the sales associate asked if there was anything in there I saw that I would like to see. 'Why not?', I thought. This could take a while. I looked into the case, and on the same shelf, and a box away from the ring mom found, there was a simple but nice looking sapphire and diamond ring that sort of caught my eye. 'Can I see that one?', I asked pointing to it. She took it out for me, and I tried it on. Holy Cow! I fell in love. It was instantaneous. Everything about this ring felt right, felt like it was waiting there only for me. I looked at mom and she looked at me, and we both held out our fingers so the other could see. We didn't have to say anything, but did anyway. We were supposed to be here, on THIS day, together. How could this not have been meant to be?
'Mom? If I ever get engaged, this is exactly the type of ring I want to have. Look at this. It's perfect.'
'Stace? This is Papa's ring. Not the original, but the same exact design. And it fits honey.......it really fits.'
We reluctantly gave both rings back, (AFTER i took pictures of each with the camera in my cell phone!) and walked in silence to her car.
The conversation that we had in the car was more out of shock than anything else. Papa's ring to mom? There? Not the original, but one just the same? How could this be?
A ring I found, in the same case, one box away, that made me utter the words 'engagement' and 'marriage' even though Adam and I had only been dating since December? It was now just July.
Later that night, Adam and I went to dinner at our friend's Jimmy & Jodi's house. We got to see the baby for a little while before Jodi took her upstairs to go to bed. While Jodi was upstairs, and Adam was taking out the trash for Jimmy, I was helping him wash & dry the dishes.
'Jim?', I said, 'There is something I have to get off my chest. I need your opinion, I am so freaked out.' I then proceeded to tell him the whole story.
'Tell him,' he said. 'Tell him tonight.'
And while we were driving home, I did. I told him everything. Mom's ring, my ring, how I wasn't looking for it, I felt like it had found me. I told him the thought of engagement and marriage didn't scare me now, as it had done in the past. We had a long talk, and I showed him the pictures in my phone. We talked about going to the store over the weekend so he could see it for himself. We talked about whether or not this was the right time to even consider spending that kind of money (money we didn't have) on a ring.
Finally, the day comes to go to Revue and show Adam the ring. When we get there, there is a sign in the window stating that they closed early for the day to get ready for a huge sale taking place the next day. My uneasiness at the thought of possibly losing this ring starts to grow. We go back two days later on a Sunday before I have to go to work. I walk in and go straight to the case where both rings had been, and they were both gone. My heart dropped. For me, for mom. 'We lost them,' that's all I could think. When I asked the sales lady (one of the same ones there while mom and I were trying the rings on a few days ago), she said that my ring had sold and the one mom looked at was taken to a jewelry show by the dealer for the weekend. I gave her my cell number in case the dealer brought mom's ring back, and asked her to call me so I could let mom know one way or another if the ring was coming back. I then called mom, and gave her the bad news. She said she was going over there first thing in the morning to see if her ring came back.
I tried so hard not to let my disappointment show. Adam was so sweet, and kept trying to console me saying we'd find another one just like it. How do you explain to someone that it wasn't necessarily something you were looking for, but felt right once you found it? And once you lost it, you didn't want another one just like it? I told him no, there would be a different one. I didn't want it to be just like that one. That was just one I had happened to like. Maybe it was a sign? It just wasn't meant to be. When we got home, I got ready for work, and the day went on as usual.
Let's now fast forward to Tuesday, July 21st. We were slow at work again, and my boss said that because I was still new, I am one of the first to be asked to leave early. I didn't really mind that at all, and called Adam and asked him to come get me. I waited for him outside of the building. It was a nice night, and I felt like being outside. Adam pulled into the parking lot, but instead of waiting for me to get in, he pulled into a space and parked.
'Let's take the beagle for a walk across the street at the park.'
'Ok,' I said. Good, I was glad. I felt like being outside for a little while before we went home. Besides, work is in a secluded part of Easton and has a park called the Oval across the road. The Oval is the focal point from all of the buildings around the park. You don't see the main road in or out until you make almost a full circle around the Oval.
I remember we were talking about bats while we walked through the parking lot and street to get to the park. I think there were quite a few out that night. I told Adam about our house on Dawson, and the pool we had in the backyard. The pool was lit at night, and my brother and I would sit on the stairs in the shallow end and watch the bats swoop down onto the water picking up bugs and insects they saw illuminated from the sky. Adam remained pretty silent after the conversation, and when he spoke next, his words weren't really making sense to me. His breath seemed short, and when I turned to look at him to see if he was ok, he had stopped walking and was fumbling for something in his left front jeans pocket.
Oh my g-d! Is he really.............? And then the words, 'I've always loved you Stace. Will you marry me?'. I looked down at the box in his hand, and when he opened it up, there was the ring!
'No,', I muttered as I put my arms around him.
'No?', he asked.
I started laughing. 'Yes! Yes! I will marry you.' I said back. ''No' was because I can't believe this is happening, and that you have the ring. The exact one I picked out.'
As we got back in the car, he told me of how he went to the Revue the next day after our talk, and bought the ring. The NEXT day. He had it this whole time! And the sales lady??? SHE was in on it too!
We drove to mom's, and I showed her my hand. She then showed me hers. Our rings! We had our rings. The men in our lives may not have made them, but I truly believe that the rings we had were made for them.
I called dad next. He was out at a restaurant eating dinner and he said 'Mazel Tov honey!', and then I heard him tell the people he was with 'My daughter just got engaged!'. There were many congratulations flung his way. I put Adam on the phone, and I heard him say 'Thanks', and then started laughing. 'Your dad said that there is a significant sum of money in it for us if we elope.'
Elope? No way! Let's celebrate!
So now here is where this part of the story ends. While I do agree there is a general succession to things, I truly believe it can not be applied to everything. I wasn't looking for that ring, but it was absolutely looking for me. Mom thought a link to her father had been taken from her forever, but that day, that link was miraculously restored.
Logic and reason (and tradition to an extent) mandates there is a systematic order to things. Engagement first, then the ring, then the wedding. In my case, this proves not to be so. Sometimes things just happen in whichever order they decide to present themselves to you. It's up to you to take it for what it is.
The chicken and the egg theory as used above, is a most valid and thought provoking discussion. You can't have one without the other. And to be totally honest, I am not sure we will ever really know. But therein lies half the mystery to it.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Please RSVP for our exclusive Bridal Event!
Ok, honestly, how many of these postcards, fliers, phone calls, solicitations and e-mail did you get after you decided to announce to the world that you were engaged? Now tell me how many you actually went to. (Be honest.........it's just us). Anyone? Anyone? Ok, I'll go first.
My mother had been very adamant with me about registering at a certain store for quite some time. And me, being the pleasant child that I am, would answer her in half audible grunts. She of course took these primitive answers as 'yes'. So needless to say, when I received my e-mail (surprise!) from said company, I automatically thought of my mother's glee and called to reserve my spot at this beloved event. Besides, they were offering a free heart-shaped bowl to all who came and registered. Now, if you know me, you know that heart-shaped anything I steer clear from. I really am not a fru-fru girl, and my eclectic (my mom calls it 'picky') taste proves it. But, I do enjoy free, and there were supposed to be refreshments provided, so it couldn't hurt to at least stop by.
When I called to RSVP I confirmed it for two, and clarified that no I wasn't bringing my fiance, I was bringing my mother. I then called mom and told her about our RSVP confirmation for the event, and she was very excited about the fact that we were going.
When the day came, my mom came to pick me up at an ung-dly hour of the morning. We were advised to come early so we: a. could find a parking space, and b. were expected to be prompt since it started at 9:00 a.m. sharp. We got there at 8:45, parked in a very empty parking lot in a spot right by the door, and waited 15 minutes in the freezing cold before a very caffeinated girl opened up the door to let us in. Not only are my teeth chattering (keep in mind I am hiding under three layers of clothes, plus fleece), but apparently I am the only one people think came with a life partner instead of a fiance. All the other male fiance's are there, looking quite glum and miserable I might add. When my mom asked me if I should have brought Adam instead, I told her no. I didn't want to wake him up early on a weekend. Besides, he would have been so bored there looking at everything 'kitchen'. I would have felt bad making him come and we would have left 10 minutes after the presentation ended. Instead of feeling out of place because I was with mom instead of him, I felt like a great fiance! I let him stay at home, under the cozy, fuzzy and warm blankets........hey,.......wait a minute! What was I thinking? He should've been here with me!
Perky girl had us form a line at the desk, and from there we all sign in. We are each given a text-book size "pamphlet" of their products (um, like we don't know?????) and the bag containing one nicely boxed free goody. Still half-steamed about being there while my warm fiance is snoozing away, I am tempted to turn around and just leave. Instead, I look for mom and see her hanging out at the refreshment table happily filling a plate with fruit and donut holes.
Next, our cattle line is herded through the store, and we are informed of how the different types of flooring indicates the different sections of the store we are in. Wood floor means you are in furniture and bedding, tile floor is kitchen, another floor means accessories, etc., etc. After another 10 or so minutes our flooring education comes to an end, and we are now given free reign to look around the store to begin our wedding registries.
I didn't know if there would be pushing, grabbing, knocking down, or hair pulling as all bride-to-be's were let loose to scan to their hearts content. To be honest, everyone was very polite. No one was hurt, however there was one casualty............sort of. A clumsy couple did drop a glass tumbler on the floor (tile I think), but did little damage. I remember hearing the clang, but not the shatter that usually follows. Hmmm.....what aisle was that? I have got to get me some of those!
After I had a very nice lady help me figure out how my scanner worked, off we went on a scu-ing adventure. We scu-ed here, and we scu-ed there; why, we scu-ed everywhere! Tile, wood, back to tile, stayed on tile, left for a brief second to unknown flooring, and then found ourselves back on tile. Scanning is so easy! I've totally got this! OOh! Look at that! SCU!!!! I should really get 8 of those.......SCU! Shiny stuff!!!!! SCU! SCU! SCU! I looked at the scanner, and my eyes bulged! Woops.........................apparently there is something wrong with this scanner. Alas, no matter how many times I banged it against my hand, the number of items stayed the same. Hee-hee, my bad. Maybe I should get some tech support for this. Tile or slate? Crud.
Needless to say, the scanner was working ok (gulp!) and I finished my 15th trip around the store.......in what i call my 'what-have-i-not-seen' mode. I concluded the whole store had felt my laser beam wrath, so I found an in-store registry kiosk (one of three!) and docked the scanner into a port and began the process of completing my registry. Two minutes later, four pieces of paper printed out and were neatly shoved into my gift bag. I found mom at the counter buying a small "happy" for herself, so I had time to fill out my comment card about the event. I gave it to the other nice lady behind the counter, and mom and I left the store (definitely wood) and came back out into the blustery cold day.
As we got to the car (15 seconds from the door) I realized that it was actually a very nice event. The entire store was open only for a select few (who RSVP'd!), and wouldn't be open to the public until noon. (Maw g-d! Is this what a gen-u-ine celebrity feels like???)
After getting into the car and blasting the heat, I opened my goody bag and realized the bowl wasn't so bad after all. In fact, I actually kind of liked it. It's a nice size (for putting nothing in it), and will look nice on display on a coffee or end table. (provided my doctor destructo cats don't knock it off onto the floor............).
All-in-all, I give this event and experience 2 thumbs-up. I don't regret going for one second. The staff were great, and really took a lot of time with me and the band of bridezillas (the couple next to me literally were chanting to each other 'add nothing to the list under $40'. no joke). I left the store victorious! My registry was now complete, and ready for all to view.
It was something I am glad I did, and would probably do again if the opportunity were to arise. As I finish writing this, I stop and stare at my registry store goody (safe and secure on the computer table next to me, where the cats have no interest to go) and think of how I am one step closer to the wedding day. It really is a thrilling time.
Ok, now you have all heard my story. Would anybody like to share one of theirs?
My mother had been very adamant with me about registering at a certain store for quite some time. And me, being the pleasant child that I am, would answer her in half audible grunts. She of course took these primitive answers as 'yes'. So needless to say, when I received my e-mail (surprise!) from said company, I automatically thought of my mother's glee and called to reserve my spot at this beloved event. Besides, they were offering a free heart-shaped bowl to all who came and registered. Now, if you know me, you know that heart-shaped anything I steer clear from. I really am not a fru-fru girl, and my eclectic (my mom calls it 'picky') taste proves it. But, I do enjoy free, and there were supposed to be refreshments provided, so it couldn't hurt to at least stop by.
When I called to RSVP I confirmed it for two, and clarified that no I wasn't bringing my fiance, I was bringing my mother. I then called mom and told her about our RSVP confirmation for the event, and she was very excited about the fact that we were going.
When the day came, my mom came to pick me up at an ung-dly hour of the morning. We were advised to come early so we: a. could find a parking space, and b. were expected to be prompt since it started at 9:00 a.m. sharp. We got there at 8:45, parked in a very empty parking lot in a spot right by the door, and waited 15 minutes in the freezing cold before a very caffeinated girl opened up the door to let us in. Not only are my teeth chattering (keep in mind I am hiding under three layers of clothes, plus fleece), but apparently I am the only one people think came with a life partner instead of a fiance. All the other male fiance's are there, looking quite glum and miserable I might add. When my mom asked me if I should have brought Adam instead, I told her no. I didn't want to wake him up early on a weekend. Besides, he would have been so bored there looking at everything 'kitchen'. I would have felt bad making him come and we would have left 10 minutes after the presentation ended. Instead of feeling out of place because I was with mom instead of him, I felt like a great fiance! I let him stay at home, under the cozy, fuzzy and warm blankets........hey,.......wait a minute! What was I thinking? He should've been here with me!
Perky girl had us form a line at the desk, and from there we all sign in. We are each given a text-book size "pamphlet" of their products (um, like we don't know?????) and the bag containing one nicely boxed free goody. Still half-steamed about being there while my warm fiance is snoozing away, I am tempted to turn around and just leave. Instead, I look for mom and see her hanging out at the refreshment table happily filling a plate with fruit and donut holes.
Next, our cattle line is herded through the store, and we are informed of how the different types of flooring indicates the different sections of the store we are in. Wood floor means you are in furniture and bedding, tile floor is kitchen, another floor means accessories, etc., etc. After another 10 or so minutes our flooring education comes to an end, and we are now given free reign to look around the store to begin our wedding registries.
I didn't know if there would be pushing, grabbing, knocking down, or hair pulling as all bride-to-be's were let loose to scan to their hearts content. To be honest, everyone was very polite. No one was hurt, however there was one casualty............sort of. A clumsy couple did drop a glass tumbler on the floor (tile I think), but did little damage. I remember hearing the clang, but not the shatter that usually follows. Hmmm.....what aisle was that? I have got to get me some of those!
After I had a very nice lady help me figure out how my scanner worked, off we went on a scu-ing adventure. We scu-ed here, and we scu-ed there; why, we scu-ed everywhere! Tile, wood, back to tile, stayed on tile, left for a brief second to unknown flooring, and then found ourselves back on tile. Scanning is so easy! I've totally got this! OOh! Look at that! SCU!!!! I should really get 8 of those.......SCU! Shiny stuff!!!!! SCU! SCU! SCU! I looked at the scanner, and my eyes bulged! Woops.........................apparently there is something wrong with this scanner. Alas, no matter how many times I banged it against my hand, the number of items stayed the same. Hee-hee, my bad. Maybe I should get some tech support for this. Tile or slate? Crud.
Needless to say, the scanner was working ok (gulp!) and I finished my 15th trip around the store.......in what i call my 'what-have-i-not-seen' mode. I concluded the whole store had felt my laser beam wrath, so I found an in-store registry kiosk (one of three!
As we got to the car (15 seconds from the door) I realized that it was actually a very nice event. The entire store was open only for a select few (who RSVP'd!), and wouldn't be open to the public until noon. (Maw g-d! Is this what a gen-u-ine celebrity feels like???)
After getting into the car and blasting the heat, I opened my goody bag and realized the bowl wasn't so bad after all. In fact, I actually kind of liked it. It's a nice size (for putting nothing in it), and will look nice on display on a coffee or end table. (provided my doctor destructo cats don't knock it off onto the floor............
All-in-all, I give this event and experience 2 thumbs-up. I don't regret going for one second. The staff were great, and really took a lot of time with me and the band of bridezillas (the couple next to me literally were chanting to each other 'add nothing to the list under $40'. no joke). I left the store victorious! My registry was now complete, and ready for all to view.
It was something I am glad I did, and would probably do again if the opportunity were to arise. As I finish writing this, I stop and stare at my registry store goody (safe and secure on the computer table next to me, where the cats have no interest to go) and think of how I am one step closer to the wedding day. It really is a thrilling time.
Ok, now you have all heard my story. Would anybody like to share one of theirs?
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Unashamed Plug
Ok, here it is. My moment of praise to my fiance, and his amazing talent. As most of his family and friend's know, he was born with an amazing gift of being able to see something in his head and make it come alive in his art. Whether it is a vision in his head, or a picture he sees that he wants to recreate, there is nothing he can't do. His mediums have changed over time through personal expression and trial, and through whatever material presents itself to him.
In our teenage years, he was quick to use colored pencil and paper, and then branched out into paint and canvas. As the years went by, he has dabbled in other mediums....lithographs, t-shirts, and his most current medium wood.
I have known for years that he has talent. But until you see one of his pieces in person, you can't truly comprehend the extent of what he can do. His hand has become an extension of his mind, and he can make art that really does have the capability to move you.
At present, he is a die maker by day (you know the cardboard thingies at the convenience store that are shaped like soda bottles? that's a die. you know the cardboard boxes you get from online shopping? that's a die too. foam cut outs, scrap booking pieces, faux finishing brushes, fleur-di-lis???? all dies.) and runs an etsy site by night. This is where the unashamed plug comes in from his very proud fiance. Take a look at his work at: www.vitzcuttingcrafts.etsy.com
All pieces shown are made out of paper or copper, except for the artwork. That is all stained wood.
The products he has listed are just examples of shapes he can make. They can be made from any fabric or material. His only limits are his buyer's imagination.
Anyway, take a look. Give us feedback, let us know what you think.
He has more in the works, but yet to post. I'm still pushing for him to add sports logos for man-rooms!
To view his art, you can see that on youtube. Here is the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_fWdtvqdyI
Or you can go to www.youtube.com and enter in Vitz Art Movie in the search option.
I do have more posts to add, but wanted to take a moment to introduce you all to Adam if you've never met him. And for those of you that already know him, this really does come as no surprise.
In our teenage years, he was quick to use colored pencil and paper, and then branched out into paint and canvas. As the years went by, he has dabbled in other mediums....lithographs, t-shirts, and his most current medium wood.
I have known for years that he has talent. But until you see one of his pieces in person, you can't truly comprehend the extent of what he can do. His hand has become an extension of his mind, and he can make art that really does have the capability to move you.
At present, he is a die maker by day (you know the cardboard thingies at the convenience store that are shaped like soda bottles? that's a die. you know the cardboard boxes you get from online shopping? that's a die too. foam cut outs, scrap booking pieces, faux finishing brushes, fleur-di-lis???? all dies.) and runs an etsy site by night. This is where the unashamed plug comes in from his very proud fiance. Take a look at his work at: www.vitzcuttingcrafts.etsy.com
All pieces shown are made out of paper or copper, except for the artwork. That is all stained wood.
The products he has listed are just examples of shapes he can make. They can be made from any fabric or material. His only limits are his buyer's imagination.
Anyway, take a look. Give us feedback, let us know what you think.
He has more in the works, but yet to post. I'm still pushing for him to add sports logos for man-rooms!
To view his art, you can see that on youtube. Here is the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_fWdtvqdyI
Or you can go to www.youtube.com and enter in Vitz Art Movie in the search option.
I do have more posts to add, but wanted to take a moment to introduce you all to Adam if you've never met him. And for those of you that already know him, this really does come as no surprise.
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